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Family Consultants and Coaches

What is a Family Consultant?

Family consultants are trained to work therapeutically with families and their children who are going through the process of separation and divorce. The purpose is to help you and/or your partner when past emotional experiences get in the way of bringing about a workable and respectful resolution to all those concerned. Our role is to support you both, either together or separately to find ways to manage your fears and concerns and reduce conflict so that the legal process is completed in the least possible time.

As a Family consultant we may also work with your children, seeing them separately in appropriate cases, helping them to voice their thoughts, feelings, needs and concerns.

Family Consultants being part of the Collaborative Team

The role of the Family Consultant in the collaborative process is about listening to the differing views that are often brought into the negotiations which create an impasse. This space allows you both to express your thoughts and feelings so that you can find alternative ways of communicating. This facilitates a more constructive and preferred future, which takes into account the needs of the individual, the couple, the parental relationship and the wishes and hopes of the children.

Achieving a fair outcome for all the family members involves change. With the support of family consultation you can begin to imagine such change and to give thoughtful consideration to opening up workable solutions; rather than being weighed down in the history of the relationship. We would work with the past experiences creating the impasse, either with you together as a couple; or individually, depending on what seems appropriate for you.

You both want what is best for yourself at a time when there is much uncertainty. It maybe difficult to believe that you can; with effort and more understanding, build a new working relationship from which a more positive communication/ways forward can evolve.

The main aim is to support you both in resolving any issues as quickly as possible, so that the collaborative process can be completed in the most constructive way for all concerned.

Time with a family consultant allows you to -

  • Express you individual viewpoint, so that new possibilities can be opened up and impasses can be overcome. 
  • Acknowledge and face the range of emotional conflict preventing knowing how to move into a preferred future.
  • Practice new communication patterns with your partner, rather than repeating the old destructive ways.
  • Have ongoing support during the legal collaborative process and beyond if still necessary.
  • With your emotional wellbeing being acknowledged and listened to, you will be in a clearer place to manage and discuss the future within the collaborative law negotiations.
  • Works towards gaining a fuller understanding of the children’s needs and wishes.
  • You will save money by using family consultants whose charges are less than the lawyer’s rate.
  • It makes it likely that the legal process will be shorter and more productive.
  • You can achieve a fuller resolution for all concerned - emotionally, personally and financially.

Coaching

Coaching provides a practical, confidential and safe space to really think things through, supporting you to stay focused on what’s really important to you and find your own best strategies to move forward in a positive way. The focus of coaching tends to be on the present and the future rather than the past and asking ‘what’ rather than ‘why’ questions. Typically clients come to coaching because they want to feel more confident and resourceful, clarify their thinking and develop resilience to take them into a new and more rewarding future.

What Coaching is:

What Coaching is not:

  • Supportive and positive
  • Focused on what you want not what you don’t want
  • Helping you to find your own answers and best way forward
  • Aligned with your values
  • Practical
  • About ‘fixing’ you
  • Remedial or therapeutic
  • Telling you what to do
  • Dwelling on the past
  • Judgemental
  • Indulgent or ‘fluffy’

 

Our Family Consultants

Christine Wells

Lindford, Hampshire GU35 0RT

01420 472 322 / 07866 137 823

Jo McHale

Churt, Surrey, GU10 2LB

01252 792322

Paul Noke

Chiddingfold, Surrey GU8

07766 655520

Sophie East

Farnham GU9 8BJ

07734 210655